Sami's World

Have you ever had a life changing experience. I mean a real one. One that you can look back on and say you’ve never been the same since and you have changed. Really changed in your heart? Well, I guess it was time for mine. I’ve had a lot of experiences in my life that have made me think differently and maybe change an action or two, but to change my heart, I’ve never had an experience like that.

September 3rd started out as any normal day would. Up at 5am and ready to go out and exercise by 6am. I was about halfway through my workout, a really good one actually, when I started feeling ill. It was mostly that I had to go to the bathroom, but seeings how a bathroom was a good 20 minutes away my body was not happy with me. So I got home as fast as I could but just felt crummy. But I always do so I just put a smile on my face and pushed through.

Milo had a doctor appointment that morning because of a wicked rash on his arm. Turns out he had a really bad case of impetigo and was given an oral and topical antibiotic. Once we got home from that I was really sick and told Scott I had to go to bed for the rest of the day. I had a wicked headache and body aches and I thought perhaps I had come down with the flu or something.

6 hours later Scott came up and asked me if I wanted some dinner. I thought maybe I should eat, that might help the headache. When he brought me my plate of food I found it awkward to eat but didn’t think much of it. I went downstairs and asked Scott if my mouth looked funny because it felt funny. He didn’t notice anything. Well the food didn’t help so I went back to bed. But the pain was so bad all night long that sleeping was not fun. The next morning when I woke up, the left side of my face felt numb. I couldn’t talk very well either. I went downstairs and asked if it was obvious. Yep, it was pretty obvious. And my left arm was fatigued as was my leg.

Scott said maybe I slept weird and pinched a nerve or something. So we called our good buddy Dave and got his opinion. He suggested I just go to E.R. Sounded a little too much like a stroke. I don’t know what a stroke is suppose to feel like but I was functioning pretty good, it was just the fatigue and headache that were killing me. And really, go to E.R.? Our insurance didn’t start till Monday September 9 and it was Wednesday September 4. So I went to urgent care instead. They would tell me I just had a really bad headache and to go home.

Nope, he said I should do nothing else but go straight to E.R. What?? I was suppose to cook food for the homeless shelter and work at the homeless shelter. Then we were going to a ball game and then Milo had scouts and I was suppose to help. I could not spend the day in the E.R.

But my wonderful family took over for me. Jaime made the food. Scott realized there were enough helpers at the homeless shelter without me and made some excuse for me. Scott and the kids went to the ball game. Jana took Milo to Scouts. It was all falling into place while I was in E.R.

Now this was not the typical E.R. experience you hear about. Nope, I guess when they think you really do have a life threatening thing, they jump into action. I was whisked away from the waiting room within minutes. In a bed, doctors surrounding me, tests ordered. I didn’t have more than a moments rest for the next 8 hours. If I was not in a test or on the way to a test I was talking to doctors or specialists or nurses were doing vitals. It was a whirlwind of a day that just resulted in me getting more fatigued.

Well all tests came back amazing. I’m the healthiest person. Absolutely nothing wrong with any part of my body. Nothing. That frustrated the E.R. doctor more than anything. At one point he sent in a neurologist. Apparently her job was to see if I was insane, maybe faking the whole thing. After her first 2 questions I could tell why she was in there and I said “You are here to see if I’m crazy aren’t you? You are here to see if I am faking this.” She said yes. I started to cry and informed her that this was the last place on earth I wanted to be. I wanted to be home with my kids and husband doing normal everyday things. Not in the hospital worried that I might die or be maimed. She said she could tell I was not insane and that I could not be faking this (really, who would fake that?? and HOW??). So because they could do nothing else, they determined I had Bells Palsy and said to go home and wait for it to go away.

You can do your own research but basically it’s a condition where the 7th cranial nerve gets inflamed and stops working properly. It’s the nerve that controls all the muscles on one side of your face. You have two of them. My 7th cranial nerve on my left side got inflamed and/or pinched or something and had stopped working. That was also the cause of the excruciating headache. A nerve going from the back of my ear, under my ear and along my jaw just a little and then sprawls out throughout my face was causing the worst pain I think I can remember ever feeling. And now I was suppose to go home and wait for it to go away???

To say that this news was a little disheartening would be a lie. It was DEVASTATING. I talked like an idiot (my tongue was not functioning). I soon found out that I could not eat or drink like a normal person and brushing my teeth, ok you try and spit without being able to close your lips all the way. Impossible! Ya, it was awful. Not only that, but now I had all these specialists that wanted to see me. More doctors appointments.

Lucky I had Scott home for a couple more days. He was suppose to start his first day of work and his wife’s health was up in the air. After TONS of research and talking to the neurologist at the E.R. and talking with Milo’s neurologist (he had an appointment the next day September 5) we found out that whether or not I took the prescribed medications for Bells Palsy or not the healing time would be the same; some improvement 6-8 weeks after the initial onset and full recovery at 4-6 months. Give or take. So, I figured if I had to wait this out, I’d prefer to do it without the use of narcotics and steroids. I’d rather do it naturally. And that is what I did.

The very next day I met with my wonderful friend Ashley and we chatted about a good plan to go natural, to cleanse my body if you will. I started right away and felt good about the path I was taking. I had been promised in a blessing that I’d recover fully and I prayed about the medications and did not feel good about them. I knew I had to do something though. The Lord can bless us after all we can do. So I started Ashley’s cleanse and slept a lot and prayed a lot and just hoped that by Monday when Scott went to work I’d be able to handle the kids by myself.

Word of my ailment got out pretty quickly. Hard not to when Sami starts canceling her commitments and has no real reason to give. Jana, the compassionate service person, was on it. She arranged for meals and sitters and all kinds of wonderful things. Our neighbor Tanya and her family were already scheduled to leave for a vacation Monday morning and her house was open for me to use as needed.

So Monday morning rolls around, Scott leaves for his first day of work and I look around and realize what I have to accomplish and just collapse inside. But no need to. Within a couple of hours a sister from church came and took my 3 little kids. I went over to Tanya’s house and my 3 big kids cleaned and cooked and did their school work all on their own. That is how the next week went. I’d have the kids for a few hours in the morning and then I’d go to Tanya’s for the rest of the day (a quiet, empty house). The morning was usually when I’d have doctor appointments or meet up with Ashley to get zoned and see how my cleanse was going. I spent the afternoons pondering and praying and reading and pleading with the Lord that I’d get well soon. And during all this my heart was changing. Being close to what you think is death changes a person. Real changes. At least for me. I also realized that a lot of my problem was depression. I never thought I really cared about how I looked or what people thought of me, but I was embarrassed by my droopy face and my weird talking and the fact that I couldn’t eat or drink like a normal person.

The other weird thing about this was that I could not blink. So if I started talking to you my one eye would just constantly stay open. So when I would look at someone or be talking to them or whatever, since only one eye blinked, it looked like I was winking at you! I kept finding it necessary to tell people I was not winking at them.

And the headache. Through all this there was this headache. Pounding, pounding, pounding headache. Because of the way the nerve runs, sometimes the headache would feel like a massive ear infection. Sometimes the headache felt like the worst tooth ache ever. But nope, none of those things, just a headache and fatigued muscles all the time on the left side of my body.

I did find moments of light when I felt pretty good. The headache manageable and my self esteem up. Then I’d go to a doctor appointment or have to talk to someone and I’d crash again. But really, I was improving and the Lord was watching over me. Ashley was my lifesaver during the week. She’d give me words of encouragement and was truly a rock during this time. My friends really stepped up and the kids didn’t really even feel the affects of all this. They were having too much fun! I think the older kids felt it more. We had a lot of laughs too. We’d sit around the dinner table and the family would be eating amazing food while I sucked juice out of a straw, and the kids would try and get me to say tongue twisters or drink without a straw. It was pretty funny and kept the mood light at home.

The rest of this story gets intertwined with the next entry. So this one will end with me 10 days out from the onset of Bells Palsy feeling up and down depending on the hour and wondering how I’m going to survive the next 4-6 months.

Posted in Ramblings

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