In case you hadn’t noticed I’ve been avoiding the mom post. Not sure why. I do want events recorded. Perhaps because it’s just so fresh. I dunno. Anyway, a VERY wise friend told me that details are not necessary and if I avoid this any longer then I may stop blogging altogether and that wouldn’t be good either. So here is my Readers Digest version of Sunday July 11- Thursday July 15.
My mom arrived in Fremont safe and happy on Sunday July 11 around 7:30pm. She was in good spirits and the neighbors came out to say hi and welcome her to the neighborhood. Upon getting situated into bed we realized that she did not receive all the medications that she needed from her skilled care facility. We realized that Monday would be a busy day of phone calls!
Monday was a good day. We spent it making phone calls and trying to figure out how to get her her missing medications. She went to bed that night determined to figure things out in the morning.
Tuesday afternoon all was taken care of and her medications were back on track. She enjoyed watching a movie with the kids and playing with them throughout the day. She even did her exercises.
[Ya know, this is the only picture I took. I figured I had plenty of time to take pictures of grandma and the kids. Afterall she was living with us…..]
Wednesday was a phenomenal day. She took a shower/bath and played with the kids. She read them stories and they read her stories. They brought her toys. They did exercises with her. She did her book keeping and caught up on her emails. She went to bed that night and slept for 7 hours straight!
Thursday when she woke up she was not feeling well. She hurt and she was having a hard time breathing. But that was par for the course for her. We decided we’d take it easy that day. She spent a good portion of the morning in bed. Then she spent the rest of the day in her room. She took her medication and did what she could to stay happy and positive on this day when she was really very miserable. By the early afternoon she said she was feeling better and did more book keeping and did some puzzle books. Niah read her a few stories and Milo read her the scriptures. After dinner in Grandma’s room we moved her to the living room where the girls did their dance recital dances for her and we played with bubbles. When it was noticeable that mom was feeling tired again I encouraged the kids to go upstairs and get ready for bed. At which time mom turned to me and said it was time to call the ambulance. She passed on before the ambulance had a chance to arrive. They do proclaim that she died in the ambulance, but her spirit had left her body long before she got into the ambulance.
The day was surrounded with such love and warmth that during the turmoil of the next week, I was able to feel the spirit of the Lord and his confirmation that his hand was in all of this and that mom’s time to go had come. He helped me to feel peace in knowing I did all I could for her and that even if different choices had been made that day, she still would have passed on. She got her last dying wish; to die at home and not in a hospital or nursing home. She was surrounded by grandchildren, her greatest joy these last 11 years, and she died with the knowledge that my sister was happy, healthy and on her own. She was at peace with her maker and she was a happy, God fearing woman. I have no doubt that she is up there now with my grandpa and her best friend Candice and many other people that she influenced here on earth and many others that she did genealogy work for. I also am sure that she is not relaxing in a lounge chair but she is hard at work preaching the gospel and being the missionary she always was here on earth.
[Everybody except Grandma Sutherland and Uncle Mike]
The funeral was nice. It was attended by about 50 people. The parade following her was one anybody could be proud of. Her burial was classic. It ended with all her grandchildren gently pulling flowers from one of the arrangements and throwing them on her lowered casket till the entire arrangement had been thrown on her one flower and leaf at a time. I know she was there smiling down on these sweet grandchildren of hers.
[Back:my sister Sara, Front: my brother Steve, Uncle Jay, Grandma Sutherland and me.]
The reception afterward was one of great rejoicing and love. It consisted of all my aunts and uncles and cousins and even my grandma! Not one person related to mom was missing. It was a joyous occasion for all.
It’s been a rough 5 weeks. Mostly a lack of motivation. But each day I rely on the Lord and I get through it. I’m sure it will get better with time but for now the kids and Scott (especially Scott) are very patient with me.
I am so blessed by all the wonderful people here in Fremont. We received so much food that I was able to freeze a lot of it and haven’t had to cook much this last month which has been a blessing. Not sure my family would have eaten otherwise!! To everyone who helped with the funeral arrangements, and helped at the funeral, and watched my kids THANK YOU so much! What life savers you all were/are! To my best friend Mandi, thank you for coming. I really needed that support and love. And thank you to Sharon. You were so helpful and such a delight to have around.
[Joy sang a beautiful rendition of ‘How Great Thou Art’ and Mandi and her mom accompanied her. It was a WONDERFUL musical number.]
Most importantly I need to thank my mother-in-law. She is the most helpful, generous, kind person and I really am glad she ran to my rescue on this one. My brother put it the best when he said ‘Tell your mother-in-law thank you. She has a gift of being helpful without being over bearing. She was able to be right there when you needed her but never imposed herself upon anyone. She has a special gift.’ I’m glad she is still here to help me when needed and it will be nice to still have someone to call mom.
I suppose I could never work for Readers Digest. It’s a good thing I went with the shortened version of this. Could you imagine what it would have been like if I had put in all the “details”….. :o)
I love you mom and this is not a ‘goodbye’, it’s a ‘see you later’!!
I’m so grateful for the knowledge that it is a “see you later”. I love your reader’s digest version, it was perfect, I have been thinking a lot about you guys and I know that you have so many around you who love you so much to comfort you at this time. Wish we could be one of them but I guess our thoughts and prayers will have to do. Love you Sami!
Sami, I too am grateful for your example to everyone. I am sorry to hear the news of your mother and also wish I could have been there to help you or be a support to you. You and your family will be in our prayers. Miss you guys!
I know she wouldn’t have planned her last days any differently. I’m so happy you were together.
Well we are home. I was glad to see you had finally posted again!! Perfect. We had SO much fun visiting you guys. It was definitely the highlight of MY trip. I think the kids liked it best too. Maya keeps asking when we get to go back to Alix’s house? Thanks so much for hosting us especially during this time you are still mourning (well, it never really stops, it just moves more to the back of your mind!).